Directions Would Be Nice

In my pursuit of sustenance, I went to McDonald's for lunch. If you're curious about the food, I didn't find it all that good. It's not that I have a problem with McDonalds because their food isn't healthy or something. It's just that they did a shoddy job making my Crispy Chicken sandwich. Anyway, as they were doing their shoddy job, I decided to grab some napkins from the condiment counter just to the left of the order station. I noticed that the napkin dispenser actually had directions on it.

"Pull Up"

I think this is a reaction to that coffee incident long ago. For those of you that don't recall, some lady ordered coffee through the Mickey D's drive thru, and after receiving and holding it in her hand for a while, she spilled the coffee while trying to sip it, while trying to maneuver her car. She received burns on her crotch region and hands. It was all quite debilitating. Due to the fact that she was not properly informed that she might, in fact, receive a burn if she were to spill Mickey D's coffee on her lap while trying to drink it while also trying to drive her car, she rightfully sued McDonald's. Since then, everything seems to come with explicit directions. I'm happy McDonald's has gone out of their way to explain to me how to take a napkin from the napkin dispenser. But I noticed they were missing some other important instructions that might lead to me hurting myself.

• I don't think it’s clear you're supposed to take a wrapper off of the straw before putting it in your drink. Directions would be nice.
• I think the package of salt McDonald's provides should actually say "Salt Inside" rather than salt on the package itself - this might confuse people who think the package is the salt. Same goes for pepper.
• Sometimes I confuse the knife with the fork - or is it the spoon? I was hoping they could print the names on each utensil. And maybe directions if there's enough space. I'd hate to cut myself with the knife because I thought it was the fork.
• Furthermore, while the directions on the ketchup and mustard packets do say, "tear here", it fails to tell me to squeeze out the contents. I had to figure that out on my own and it took me a while to realize that ketchup wasn't the reddish stuff as well as the delicious plastic.

With these changes, I’m sure the items listed will go even better with future Crispy Chicken sandwiches. I really love that paperfoil wrapping! It’s delicious.